Today, 6:48 AM

What's this cave expense I'm seeing for $500?

It's for a gadget Master Bruce.

I love gadgets! What kind of gadget?

A Roomba, to vacuum the cave.

I'm not reimbursing you for that. That's a silly gadget and a waste of money.

You spent 92 million in R&D on a boot with ice skates in it.

It has two boots. Only 46 mill per boot. That's a steal.

Maybe you should just clean up after yourself then.

You'll get your Roomba.

Today, 5:38 PM

Leave me alone.

Any last words?

Hulk... SMASH!

Today, 3:38 AM

The star quartz affects all metals, Doom. Give it here, or the world will know what kind of underpants a despot wears.

Hah! I am wearing a metal thong.

Fall back, and let this shield blow freedom o'er the land. Like the gusty wind that follows a Fourth of July weenie with extra onion.

Yankee doodle dandy!

Let's yankee our doodles outta here!

Yesterday, 4:20 PM

I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn't having it.

They made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent.

Hmmm.

Today, 6:28 AM

Hey. Ow,Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah.

It is a tight fit sir.

Hey, Ah.

Sir the more you struggle the more this is going to hurt

Be gentle. This is my first time.

I designed this to come off, so... hey. I really should be able to...

Please, try not to move sir.

Monday, 1:27 PM

You're disgusting!

What did I do?

Reed just told me your webbing is organic!

Yeah so?

You've made me hammocks out of that stuff!

I still don't see the problem.

I slept in hardened white fluid that came out of your body.

Ew. That's disgusting. I can't believe you did that.

Dude.

Monday, 1:27 PM

Put the knives down!

I can’t.

Monday, 1:27 PM

So what are your weaknesses?

What do you mean?

I'm just making a list. Green Lantern can't affect yellow, Flash is bad with cold. What about you?

Put down nothing.

You're saying you don't have any weaknesses?

I'm saying if I did I wouldn't be dumb enough to tell people what they are.